Letter to an old flameDear One loved by another,

It was a crime
To love you,
You loved by another.
It was a crime
To care for you,
You already cared for by another.
I blame not myself
For falling,
Falling in love with you.
I blame not myself
For holding
Holding you close to my heart.
For I never was fool
To fall in love with you.

Before I met you,
The dumbest thing I ever did
Was the best thing I ever did.
I remained nothing but a ‘nothing’
Before you waltzed
Into my life.
With deep smiles and
Radiating sunshine
You gradually filled the vacuum
That took permanent residency in my heart.

Though you came not as a lover
But as a friend indeed
I still saw you as more than that.
For you brought into my life
What I never thought could be mine.
We became friends,
going deeper,
More than either of us
Or the world.
Could envisage.
More than either of us
Or the world
Would believe.

We fell in love,
Your family ranted,
Your siblings raved,
Saw me as the tyrant.
The spoil-sport
Who has come to
Stand between you and the man
That would alleviate
The problems of your family
With his wealth.
He raved also,
Saw me as a threat,
A stumbling block in his path.
He claimed to love you more,
Falling back on his wealth to
Entice you to him.

You wanted me you said
But they wanted the other.
“The devil you know” you said
“Was better than the angel you don’t”
You cried on my shoulders,
Wept on my chest,
Clung to me for support.
Begged me
to give you the time
to convince them,
to show to them
that I meant good.
And that it would end good
That you’d go on with me
And not the other.

I consented,
With all my heart,
Gave you my shoulders
for support.
Gave you my all,
In return for nothing
Except your love.
Then waited,
And waited….

Only yesterday did I realize,
That you’d be mine no more.
That you caved in.
Tied the knots – with him!
Clung to him for all eternity
Left me out in the cold
Dumbstruck! Speechless! Aghast!
Rudest shock of my life.
Broke your promise – Broke my heart,
Killed my spirit.
My hope? Dimmed
My Sunshine? Enshrouded
My Happiness? Dissolved.
My enthusiasm?Dissipated.

Maybe it was a crime
To have loved you,
I never knew
You loved by another.
Maybe it was a crime
To have cherished you,
You cherished by another,
I never knew.
My world lies in darkness,
Not knowing when
The sun will shine again on it.

In exchange for loving you,
You loved by another.
In exchange for cherishing you,
You cherished by another
I have memories.
Memories remaining of
Our time together.
Memories only! Nothing else!!
Ours was a love lost, never to be found again.
Or would you rather
Know that in my heart
It was never lost.
Therein it shall remain
Till I die.
To remind me that
I once loved one
That was loved by another,
And it became a crime.

Now I here I sit,
Pen in hand,
Thoughts in mind
Pondering whether to write this
Or keep it stowed away
In that worry-prodded
Oblongata of mine,
Or share for the world to know.
For such fools like me
Lie still in the world
Hoping against all hopes
That it would work out
But never stepping out
Of that fool’s paradise called

Yours in Grief,
One who loved one that was loved by another.


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