Previously on CHILDHOOD NAUGHTINESS: The case of the Love letter
‘Yee! Mo gbe!’
I screamed as I touched it
My woes had just compounded.
How would I go to school now……..
The concluding part:
I sat down on the floor lamenting my predicament.
The sun rose against my will brightening the window panes of our house.
My mother was shocked to find the lump on my head,
After mumbling an excuse about how I fell from bed and stuffs,
Mother insisted I get dressed and go to school,
All my pleas about going to the hospital to be treated turned on deaf ears.
I was instructed to get dressed for school.
I dressed up for school reluctantly, imagining what I would face in school that day.
The humiliation; the embarrassment,
I questioned myself on my motive for writing the love letter.
All through that day in school I looked at everyone with suspicion,
If anyone laughed too much,
I suspected he was laughing at me.
If anyone stared too much,
I suspected he already heard about it.
Even when we had dictation in the afternoon and one of the words was ‘LETTER’
I thought everyone was trying to get into my head,
In my clumsiness that noon I spelt LETTER as LETA.
Eventually I got through the day without anyone asking me about the letter.
And as I returned home that day, despite a niggling thought at the corner of my mind I concluded that:
Maybe no one actually saw the letter.
The thought brought about a massive relief and helped me retuned to my normal self.
That night while eating a bowl of Amala and ewedu,
My father asked for my notes as was his normal doing every three nights.
(I am sure this was a norm for everyone who ever attended a school)
Since I had no skeleton in my cupboard,
I dropped the bag on his laps and returned to my food.
My father went through my books,
He checked my notes and scores making only a few comments.
Soon enough he picked my N.O.E.C textbook
And as he flipped through it something fell off,
And before I could gather myself my father picked up a piece of folded paper,
What it was never occurred to me until my father called out to my mother:
“Iya Seun, haaaa wa woo omo e o!
Omo e ti so ra e di Yemi-my-lover.
Letter lo nko kiri school bayii o”
The amala suddenly hooked in my throat
As my father read out the contents of the letter:
Yesterday during lesson I wanted to tell you that I LOVE YOU,
But I was afraid that you don’t love me too.
See I love you and I want to marry you,
I will give you plenty plenty money.
I will buy house and car and everything for you if you marry me.
When we grow up I will take you to London to see my uncle
And we live there forever and ever more.
I love you my dear, if you love me too, please reply my letter.
Seun alias Romeo.
Please don’t ask me what happened next,
As I speak with you the marks left on me
By my father’s bla-bla are yet to clean off.
What I never got till today was how I had been stupid enough not to know the difference between my N.O.E.C. and hers.
(And that concludes Childhood Naughtiness: The Case of the love letter; Click like if you really enjoyed it)