‘You forgot to pick your NOEC from the table’ I told her on the way out of the classroom.
‘It’s not mine’ she replied.
Suddenly the world went still as I paused.
I ran back into the class to retrieve the book
Alas! It was gone! I could almost say it disappeared.
(First part posted on 24-May 2012)
It was there a few seconds before.
Suddenly my mind told me I was in a very deep trouble.
I blinked twice, willing for the book to re-appear.
It did not!
Yee! Mo daran!
I ran into the loo to poopoo, as I suddenly developed a runny stomach’.
The remaining hours I spent at school that day was hell.
I felt like a cat that fell into water.
It was like every eye was on me.
Every gathering I walked past,
Every group I move close to be talking about me.
Even when my best friend asked what was wrong with me, it felt like mockery.
I ran back to my seat awaiting my judgment.
Someone has the letter and I was sure it was the teacher.
I wasn’t sure I heard well.
That was my teacher’s voice, I was sure of that. “Talk of the devil” I thought
I nearly peed in my pants as I ran over to his table.
I answered, non-too eager to face my punishment.
He looked at me as if I was just a speck of dust on his table and asked:
Who called you?
Like a child caught with his hand in a pot of soup I responded;
I thought you did sah
He merely looked at me like a dunce and went back to his work.
To say I suddenly developed a headache was an understatement,
It seemed as if my mind was playing tricks on me.
On the way back to my seat, I again felt as if the whole class was staring at me.
I nearly screamed,
Their deafening silence reminded of the horror movie I saw the night before – Omen Part 1.
Kai! That terrible movie.
I heaved a sigh of relief when the final bell for the day eventually rang.
That night my dreams were infested with love letters growing legs and wings
like an ojuju-calabar, chasing me around our compound.
The following morning was the worst in my life,
If there was a time I ever wished for a bout of Typhoid, Malaria and Chicken pox fevers rolled into one, It was that day.
I searched all through my body but could not find any ailment
Even the runny nose I had the day before had disappeared.
I paced up and down the children room willing for another idea to flow into me.
And then suddenly it did,
I devised another plan.
Shebi if I break my head, I would be forced to stay home from school?
The idea sounded good and I set about doing just that.
I looked for a part of the room where the wall was smoothest,
After confirming its smoothness I took five steps backwards,
Measured my distance and positioned myself like Yokozuna,
Whoever watched wrestling as a youngster would remember Yokozuna.
I assured myself it would work.
Then I took a deep breath and took off.
Now I cannot remember which sounded louder that morning,
The noise from outside my head
Or the one that came from inside the head.
Well…., that was the last thing I remembered before I fainted.
When I came to, I stylishly opened my eyes
No white sheets!
No sterile smell!
No smell of IZAL!
Nothing to show I was in a hospital.
I sat up only to realize that I was still in our room o – the children room, with no one around me.
I checked the clock to find out it was just 5.25a.m.,
Only 10 mins after I had hit my head against the wall.
It was still too early for others to have woken up.
I had suffered in vain.
As I lifted myself off the ground my head ached terribly.
I tried rubbing the area aching me only to find a lump right there like an Alade’s horn.
Those who read ‘Alawiye Iwe Kerin’ will know about ‘Alade Wuwo’
‘Yee! Mo gbe!’
I screamed as I touched it
My woes had just compounded.
How would I go to school now?
(Please do not kill me it will be continued next week…..)