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CLASS 1: Trust

This often over-used word has been described by Encarta as: confidence in and reliance on good qualities of a person, especially fairness, truth, honor or ability. It is the base and often the bane of most relationships because all pointers lead us away from trusting others.

Take Nigeria for instance, where everybody is trying to “swerve” everybody else. We have been tuned by our parents and experiences to “Love all but trust none”.

We have an adage in my office “In God we trust, everyone else we audit”. Surely there’s nothing wrong with planting a GPRS chip in my husband’s boxers or at least installing a tiny video camera in your wife’s Brazilian weave? We trust them oh, we just don’t want to “give room for the devil, because wisdom is profitable to direct” shebi?

There’s a difference between suspicion and plain old insanity. Suspicion is when you accidently find a lady’s panties in your husband’s briefcase; that should be questioned.

Insanity is when every woman/ man that as much as glances in your spouse’s direction is a threat. At that point, whether you like it or not, you need to have your head examined.

Once u get in a relationship, drop all the bad trust experiences you have had and give this new person a chance to prove him/herself. If there’s no trust in a relationship, there’s no relationship.

Some people are so tainted that they go through their spouses’ things with such a strong anticipation that they get disappointed when they find nothing. They are sure that everybody is out to take advantage of them and nobody deserves their trust. Those people are usually untrustworthy themselves.

Come to think of it, going through your spouse’s phone wouldn’t make him love you more or stop cheating; it would only make him save the name of his mistress as “Bob”. If an effort isn’t yielding results shouldn’t we stop doing it? Lack of trust leads to pain, shame and resources invested in a fruitless effort. Like Job said in the bible “That which I feared the most has happened to me”.

In case you don’t know, there’s something called the LAW OF EXPECTATION, if you believe and suspect that your other half is cheating despite evidence proving the contrary, that person would start living up to your expectation. That person chose you despite the other available options, and if this person wants to leave, turning yourself into Sherlock Holmes would only leave you tired. And guess what, the news would go round and everybody would keep you at football-pitch’s length.

Enjoy your relationship, keep an open mind, play the fool just so you can sleep better at night. If your other half is cheating, he/she is the one with the problem so why should you be the one with the migraine?

Having said that, some people are not trustworthy, and they won’t change because of you. With those kinds of people, it is best to walk away because they don’t deserve you. Life is too short to worry over a problem that doesn’t even exist abeg.

Class 1: Trust was re-blogged from Grace Salako’s blog site : http://www.omoelle.wordpress.com

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